The White House, Washington
Dear Barb:
I have wonderful news to share with you.  After our success in persuading Congress not to invade Syria and in prevailing upon Russia to accept a peaceful alternative, we achieved an astonishing breakthrough in the Israeli-Palestinian negotiations.
Although some of the details remain to be resolved, both sides have agreed on the terms of a two-state solution.  Israel has agreed to withdraw to the pre-1967 borders.  The rest of the country, including East Jerusalem and Gaza, will become Palestine. All citizens of both countries will be able to travel freely in their own country and the other, as well.
This breakthrough has been accomplished through the tireless, resourceful and imaginative efforts of all the parties, with special mention to Secretary of State John Kerry.  The result will be peace at last between Israel and the new state of Palestine.
The key to success has been that both Israel and Palestine will be Jewish states.  Non-Jews living in these states will be invited to convert to Judaism.  In fact, President Mahmoud Abbas converted years ago and has only now revealed his adoptive faith and his new name, Machlah Abimoaz.  Those who choose not to convert will be ethnically cleansed, in accordance with Israeli tradition.
We are now seeking to resolve the the issue of the Israeli-occupied Golan Heights, but Prime Minister Netanyahu assures us that a Jewish state in Syria is something they are willing to consider, as well as Jewish states in Lebanon, Jordan, the Sinai peninsula and possibly even Saudi Arabia and Iraq.
Through comprehensive and sustained efforts, we are confident that we can achieve the goal of Jewish states living side by side in peace and security throughout the Middle East.  This approach requires working with Israelis, Palestinians, and other stakeholders over the long term, and my Administration will do just that.
Thank you for your support in promoting peaceful solutions and helping me earn my Nobel Peace Prize.
Sincerely,
Barack Obama