Social Network to Replace Listening Devices, Spy Satellites
BEIJING – (The Borowitz Report) – The Chinese government announced today that it would disband its extensive domestic spying program that gathers personal information on its citizens and would instead use Facebook.
According to the head of the domestic spying operation, China decided to scrap its elaborate array of spy satellites, eavesdropping devices and closed-circuit surveillance cameras after recognizing that Facebook put them all to shame.
“At the end of the day, we were not getting as much intimate personal data as Facebook does,” he said. “So as of today, every man, woman and child in China is officially our ‘friend.'”
The Chinese version of Facebook, launched next week, will feature addictive online games reminiscent of the American version, such as Collective Farmville.
Elsewhere, a new study shows that the link between cell phones and cancer is unclear, but the link between cell phones and assholes remains strong.
BOROWITZ REPORT
gazafriends — 17 mai 2010 — On May 14, 2010, the MV Rachel Corrie pulled out of the docks in Ireland and began her long journey down the coast of Europe to the Mediterranean. She is named after the 23 year old American, Rachel Corrie, who was killed in Gaza by an Israeli bulldozer as she was protecting the home of a Palestinian doctor. She will join seven other vessels in the Mediterranean and sail to Gaza to deliver vitally needed construction, medical and school supplies to the imprisoned population of Gaza.
Taytaba2 — 16 mai 2010 — Nakba, Palestinians catastrophe of 1948, commemorated in Washington DC May 15th, 2010. Nakba survivors honored with a boat ride in solidarity with the Free Gaza Movement “Freedome Flotilla” that will be sailing on May 24th along with the MV Rachel Corrie to break the siege of Gaza.
Several hundred thousand ultra-orthodox Jews do not have to work as they get money from the state to study the Torah, the holy book of Judaism.
But now, experts warn it is costing too much and Israeli taxpayers will not be able to carry the burden much longer.
Al Jazeera’s Nisreen el-Shamayleh reports.
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